Category Archives: Fitness

My Pathfinder Initiative: Month 1

It’s fairly often that I take inspiration from sci-fi/fantasy worlds and apply it to my own real world. I channel a strong virtual character when throwing punches in my workouts, or I pretend I’m flying an X-wing when trying not to completely breakdown during plane turbulence. So it should come as no surprise when I say that for the past month, I’ve been working on something new, inspired by my friend’s own personal reboot, and the new Mass Effect: Andromeda game coming out in the spring.

My Pathfinder Initiative. (This is the first, so it’s a long one. Prepare thine eyes.) Continue reading

Run, girl, run. It’s really living.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

The air is calm and cool against my skin. There is a dampness still clinging to the city after an early morning rain. I love these kind of mornings. Some people nearby complain to each other about the “dreary weather,” but this isn’t misery – this is rejuvenation. I slide a finger against my smartphone and hit play. The sound of music rings in my ears and the corners of my mouth creep upward into an appreciative smile. I’m really going to live today.

I set off down the street, my feet pounding on the pavement carefully. The last thing I need to do is fall. It’s around 10:30 in the morning so the convention attendees are already running around. I pass a few people, smiling as I habitually do to new faces, and receive smiles in return. My heart is beating harder and my legs are beginning to remind me that they don’t like to run. I ignore them.

I cross my first street and skip over the large white blocks as if playing a game. A lady in bright pink hair with bright red lips smiles at me. I hear her shout a “Woo!” as I jog off. I feel like a rock star.

It’s been nearly three blocks and my legs, hips, and ankles need a break so I slow down to a walk. My body is buzzing with every step and it’s an exquisite moment where I feel alive. Suddenly the early alarm clock doesn’t seem to matter; this is what I wanted to do.

I jog a few more blocks up to the large park, walking intervals in between. I decide to turn around after stepping up and down the local government’s staircase several times. I’m feeling good, I think. Let’s get a little crazy. As if in total conspirator agreement, my music speeds up and hits a particularly enthusiastic note. I start sprinting down the street.

Yes! I’m doing it! Run! The world is my oyster or something and I … My body creaks and my knee stings me with pain. Nope, nope, nope, nope!

I slow down and come to a stop, my shorts halfway on an archeological dig to my uterus, and my ankles ready to secede and declare war on my foolish brain. I try to quickly recover my breath and fail to suppress a stupid, goofy smile. For that one moment, I was a superhero. I was really living.

My music calmed in time with my steps and I headed back to the hotel. I passed more convention attendees. I smelled more than they did. I didn’t apologize. I marched back quiet and proud that at least today, I chose to live and it felt wonderful.

Race, SMASH! Conquering the Warrior Dash Again

1794590_10152171374419394_1784765431_nThis past weekend, I ran my third Warrior Dash, a 3.4-mile, muddy obstacle race where you get to leap over fire, climb cargo nets, and swim through water. Husband and I decided to run with Adventure Time outfits; he dressed in almost his entire Finn costume, and I wore a Lumpy Space Princess-inspired outfit. (If I had more time to think it over, I would have worked on a costume, but ….. lazy.) Continue reading

Stripperific: That One Time I Learned How to Pole-Dance

The lovely bride and me

The lovely bride and me

This past weekend I attended a bachelorette party at Vixen Fitness here in Orlando, Florida. Together, we learned an hour of what I can only describe as sexy chair grinding, and another hour of actual pole dancing. It was a pretty fun experience and something I had wanted to do for my own bachelorette party way back in the day (OK, it was only 14 months ago).

The dress code was simple: “wear the shortest shorts you feel comfortable in” – great.

Quick mini- rant: I seriously hate shorts because they are either too baggy and fly up/out/whatever whenever you move to broadcast your underwear OR they are the tight, evil crotch-length versions that make a living riding up into your nether regions, thus forcing you to pick at them the entire time. And the worst part is that nobody knows if you’re just adjusting your shorts or … yeah. I really didn’t like either option so I wore my Turbo Fire shorts, which weren’t too long to inhibit my flesh from sticking to the metal pole, and didn’t make me feel like everyone would be getting a free show – a nice compromise. Continue reading

Working Out My Attitude, Not Just My Body

bb453wb-w484h484z1-33621-stay-on-the-internet“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

It’s Friday, and that usually means thinking about my favorite FPS or fitness. Today it’s the latter as I reach the end of the eighth week of my pre-holiday MMA/weights training schedule. It’s been a fun two months of punching, kicking, and lifting, but I find myself nearing the finish line without the results I was looking for in this process.

With just three weeks to go, I’ve barely lost any weight (still holding on to that happy holiday and fun steroid weight gain) – a whole 7 pounds, which is pretty slow for me. It’s extremely frustrating considering I have an entire box of clothing waiting for me ever since 2011 when I was 30 pounds lighter and on a high from being a part-time fitness instructor. The weight came off so quickly then and I suppose I’m having a hard time realizing that I’m older now and it might not be coming off quite the same way. (I also really like beer now.) Continue reading

Getting Back on Track

Week 4: Insanity & Les Mills Pump Hybrid Schedule

This week I’m finally back in the swing of things after a seemingly marathon stint of parties, vacations, and dining excursions. Instead of back-tracking and essentially “punishing” myself, I’ve decided to just keep positively moving forward. My birthday is in two weeks and I’m nowhere near where I want to be. I have spent a lot of time over the last few months sort of stuck in self-loathing, which only leads to further emotional eating, weight gain and general misery.

There’s really no point in it. Over the last week or so, I’ve started working to accept myself for where I am at the moment. I’ve stopped focusing on the giant box of size 10 clothing in the closet that I haven’t fit in since 2011. It’s only further damaging my self-esteem to have that tower over me like a giant failure when I can’t get to it. So this past week, I had the opportunity to stay with my husband at a high-end resort and just vacation for a week. I went to Target and bought clothes that fit – regardless of their size. I even found a bathing suit that fit and made me feel comfortable. I felt good all week, guys. I was in the pool; I was happy; I was so much better just accepting me for me, rather than focusing on the tiny girls in skimpy bikinis (I admit I did a little; I’m not cured – yet).

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Battling Shamedrea

It’s not even a week into my new 60-day fitness program and I am already fighting to stick through the hard points of my workouts and say no to every chocolate bar, energy drink and french fry within a 20-mile radius.

You see, I have a nasty little voice inside my head, who I’ve named Shamedrea, or “Sham” for short. Shamedrea is the manifestation of all of my nightmares, my fears, my stress, my enemies – she’s everything bad in my past, present and possible future; she’s really quite a terrible entity. And unfortunately for me, Shamedrea has me wrapped around her little bitchy finger. She has an uncanny ability to instill me with self-doubt, drag me down detrimental paths of self-loathing, depression, and, naturally, shame.

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